Before I go any further with my “free advice” I have to share a secret with you, it’s not entirely easy and it’s not difficult. Everything I’m going to share is something I’ve picked up somewhere else, and you might have components of it already (hear that good news). But the key active ingredient is you – and you alone – have to do it. That’s simple, but complicated. But here is the first “truth” I want to share with you.
Only you can activate the change.
And the second “truth” is this.
It may not make a darn bit of difference unless you change your attitude.
You have to make the first big decision. Are you going to be an active participant in your own life? If you are not – then stop reading anything labelled “free” on this page because it’s not going to work for you and you’re just going to blame me for some bad decision you made, or worse, a bad circumstance that arose because you didn’t make a decision. If you’re not going to participate in your own life, if you’re just going to continue to roll along and not take risk, or responsibility, the world is going to eat you alive. The ideas I’m going to share are for someone who genuinely wants to improve their circumstance. It may lead to you being more satisfied with life, it may lead to more of what you want, it may also lead to you losing friends, quitting your job or getting a divorce. If that happens, and you fall back into the “why is this happening to me when I’m such a great person?” trap, then start over. You may like the drama & chaos and “keeping it real” which is my personal favorite because it announces to the world, “I’m a jerk who cares more about my own sense of the world than your situation.” (it’s rare that people fly their “jerk” flags so obviously).
So, now that I’ve turned a few people off, I want you to find a mirror and say to yourself, “I am an active participant in my own life.” And I want you to say it to yourself until you realize that you’re a sheep following the directions of some blog you read on the internet. Seriously though, it is a good thing to tell yourself from time to time, especially when you find yourself in the middle of a tough spot, because it harkens back to “old-school” parenting, but it is a phrase couched in modern self-help language. What it means is really, “What am I going to do about this?”
So, what are you going to do, are you going to get mad? Go off on a gossipy tangent with co-workers that accomplishes nothing? Complain to a boss (that might get you nowhere). From Sean Connery in the Untouchables one of the top five “macho-movies” of all time, “What are you prepared to do?” (Gladiator, Tombstone… I’ll let you pick the other two).
When you are, then you can move on into the realms of your reality (doesn’t THAT sound weird?) or spheres of your psyche (that one only works when you say it out loud). Aspects of… whatever. I don’t have time to come up with a name. I’m too busy getting stuff done, and you can do.
IF you want to be an active participant in your own life. IF you do, the feel FREE to read on.